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Monday, December 18, 2006
part 2 of unleash! i'll just start off with the main points of the next message. i always find it hard to write down what happened during camps or whatsoever because there's just too much to say and i dont know where to start.
revival is a complete takeover, not a one-time thing. brokenness is an ongoing process.
brokenness is...
1. the shattering of self-will [so that the life, spirit and power of God can be released]
2. the stripping of self-reliance and independence from God
3. the softenening of the heart [so that we can be easily moulded by God]
[i actually drew this out but i shall explain in words] we are like a house, and our pride is like the roof and the walls. we have to tear down the roof and the walls. the roof representing our brokenness towards God and the walls representing brokenness towards men.
saul vs david [Psalm 32 and 51]
pharisees vs tax collector [Luke 18]
older brother [wanted recognition, thought highly of himself, had anger and envy] vs the prodigal son
we want to lift ourselves up, to be independent. but God wants us to humble ourselves, to be dependent, then He will lift us up.
James 4:10
the higher up we are [money, influence, power...], the more people look up to us and the more vulnerable we are to pride. and when we have pride, God is unable to work in us.
Proverbs 3:34 He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble
James 4:6 but he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
1 Peter 5:5 young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble
do you sometimes feel that God seems so far away? is it because He has withdrawn His prescence because of the persisting pride in your heart? God draws near to those whose hearts are broken and humbled.
Psalm 138:6 though the Lord is on high, He looks upon the lowly, but the proud He knows from afar.
i think i shall go topic by topic when i blog about everything that happened during camp. the topic for part 2 of unleash shall be worship. hmm now where do i start.
morning worships were good. night worships were awesome and just... powerful. jon, you led day2's night worship and everything was set on the right track. you prepared everyone's heart for the message and the response after the message was amazing. matilda, day3's worship was great, it was great [i think im using great too often, but i just cannot find another word to describe it] just great.
i'll try to pen down the whole experience of leading worship for the last night. since the start, i never wanted to lead worship. being on the worship team was okay, but leading worship is a great responsibility and since i just wasnt close to Him, i tried talking my way out of it. but linus said he had prayed about it and all, so i could only trust the camp commandant eh. i started panicking after camp comm debrief on well early morning of day 4. because my mind was blank. i didnt know what to say, what to do, what songs to sing etc. and i was really worried because being the last night worship, i wanted it to be powerful, i wanted the Holy Spirit to be among us, to touch hearts... it must have been rather obvious that i was thinking about it, because everyone started asking me what's wrong. im glad i told them and really thankful that they decided to pray simultaneously. ended up praying for 2 hours, which left us with like 2-3 hours of sleep. but still nothing came to me until dinner, which is time for worship team pract. we practised for the before-message worship [i managed to draw up a rough worship plan] and pract was good. then everyone started streaming in after dinner, and we decided there was nothing we could do about after-message worship and we could only pray that God will guide us and we will be able to coordinate.
the message was good, it summed up everything and he questions that psandrew asked at the end, i think it struck everyone. but that gave me more pressure, because now it's all about the response. i was sitting beside james and just before i went up he leaned over and told me "God put you in-charge of worship because He knows you can do it with His power. dont feel stressed or pressured and just listen out for His voice." just a few sentences, two to be exact but it definitely reminded me that ultimately, everything was for God. it wasnt peiling's success or peiling's failure, but God's glory and God working through peiling. it wasnt about what i wanted it to be, it was about what God wanted it to be, and God's will. i dont know whether what God used james to speak to me, but whatever it is, it helped me a lot, getting me into the correct mindset.
i really dont know how to describe worship other than powerful, awesome. and now looking back, i know i could not have done it without God. all glory and honour belongs to Him. i mean, it was totally unprepared, the worship team didnt know what they were going to play. i sang the first line of the songs acapella so they knew what song it was, and they came in the next line, figuring out all the chords on the spot, surprisingly knowing when i wanted to repeat the chorus [thankyou lionel, theo, jiahui, brandon, matt.] i didnt give any cues, i didnt say anything in the middle, i didnt add in verses- i didnt do everything which i usually do. it was just songs all the way and stretched for 1 hour, more than the 20 minutes that was allocated. and i tell you that 1 hour was just... amazing, and for me, the best 1 hour in the whole of unleash. i mean God's presence could be felt and seeing hands lifted up, people kneeling down, people breaking, people singing out loud, people praying. towards the end the music stopped and hearing all the youths voices joined as one... it was just thank you God, thank you. i felt like crying and for the first time i didnt try to hold it back, though i didnt cry in the end. okay anti-climax. but for once in a very very long time, i felt close to Him, i could feel Him with me. i dont think im back to that intimate relationship i had with Him, but i think im on the right track now.
and after that during comm debrief, we all agreed that God's hand had been moving among us [and still is], touching hearts. we've been praying for Him to touch hearts during unleash, but we never expected such a great number. but finally, what we prayed for has come- revival- youths not going to church solely for the sake of going, youths not being spiritually stagnant, youths not answering God's call to serve... please pray that all these scenarios will be gone, and God will put in all the youths a heart that longs to serve Him and a heart that loves Him.
my spiritual walk with God. contrary to what many people think, ive been going astray, getting off the right path, occasionally finding my way back, only to get lost soon after. during the messages, psandrew really addressed the thing that has been hindering me from drawing nearer to God- pride. i guess the walls that ive been building around me are [finally] starting to break down. very slowly, brick by brick, or maybe even chip by chip, but nonetheless it's slowly breaking. im more open about my spiritual life, though im not comfortable going in details with most people. but it's still an improvement eh?
i still have a lot more to say actually, but nevermind i shall leave it till part 3. camp comm sleepover on friday. camp echo on saturday. hoho.
not to us- chris tomlin
the cross before me the world behind
no turning back
raise the banner high
it's not for me
it's all for You
let the heavens shake and split the sky
let the people clap their hands and cry
it's not for us
it's all for You
not to us
but to Your name be the glory
x2
our hearts unfold before Your throne
the only place for those who know
it's not for us
it's all for You
send Your holy fire on this offering
let our worship burn for the world to see
it's not for us
it's all for You
the earth is shaking
the mountains shouting
it's all for You
the waves are crashing
the sun is raging
it's all for You
the universe is spinning and singing
it's all for You
Your children
dancing x4
it's all for You x4
simplicity.
*****
simple facts
peiling
30 march
christian
tnsrgs
